a blended life

I don't want the year to end without a few thoughts. Me and the girls are in Utah while Jacob is in Miami studying for a shelf exam (internal medicine blah blah). They came to visit their dad for a week. They didn't want to go, even after 5 months of not spending any time with him or his new family. It was a very emotional few days leading up to the trip and the plane ride to SLC was intense.  We love our kitty: We played Cranium and I could NOT believe no one guessed my sculpture for pancakes. CLEARLY.  I wanted to show an honest picture of how I look most of the time. I'm tired, but most of my weirdo health issues have either resolved or put themselves on a back shelf for a while. My back stopped hurting on Christmas Day (miraculous!). I joined the Jewish Community Center gym, which is a nice as Sports Academy in Logan. Really lovely place. After talking with a friend and enduring much analysis from Jacob, it...

I didn't post this last week, but this was taken in Virginia Beach on the boardwalk. There is a law against swearing.  Before we got married, I knew that Jacob would be a good dad (or stepdad or whatever you feel like calling him). I knew he would be able to handle the daily grind and would bring a lot of strengths to the table. I wasn't prepared for the ways that he was a superior parent than myself. Not that I think I'm great, which I don't, just that I've been the one calling the shots for their whole lives and now there is someone who does some things better. Like homework and getting good grades. I have a laissez-faire attitude about school and both girls have really needed Jacob's help with study habits, turning stuff in, talking to the teacher, etc. As a side note, both kids received an award for Citizenship (being well behaved) and are hoping for honor roll next term. Yes, second graders are given letter grades. School here is the real deal. N...

*cue Jimmy Fallon's thank you note music* Thank you, Jen, for coining a very appropriate phrase for what happens when your birthday falls on Thanksgiving. Thank you, South Carolina, for showing me that there are worse drivers out there than Miami, Utah and Texas combined. (Florida driving, as a whole, isn't that bad. Miami is terrifying.) Thank you, decrepit, aging, malfunctioning body, for barely letting me make it through a 37 hour car trip to Virginia. Thank you, Mom and sister, for the package of delightfulness that was waiting for me when I got back. ******************************************************************************** I'm not sure how to describe or even narrate our week long road trip. It was long. The kids did an amazing job of handling it and I am so grateful. I started having back pain on the way there and the back pain is still excruciating, so much that I can barely leave the house anymore. It was important for us to go. I know we reall...

I wrote a poem. Actually, I didn't, I'm just too exhausted to make paragraphs right now. Here it is, pulled directly out of my head and onto this page: Too tired for:      Laundry      Kindle      Sewing      Holidays      Humor      Scouts      Perspective      Questions      Lessons      Creativity      Naps      Commitments      Adventure (WHAT?! Did I just say that???) Poem over.       My energy level has reached critically low levels to the point where only have about 3-4 hours of productivity in one day. The rest of the time is spent horizontal. I don't know what's wrong. Jacob thinks it's Celiac disease and has spent the day freaking out over gluten. I've spent the day eating gluten. I have another appointment tomorrow. Something i...

Health Update: There is no update. I have bouts of nausea. I am huge. I have major fatigue and have learned to stay home and sleep all day. I also have a normal CT scan, blood work, and a doctor who told me he wasn't losing sleep over my results. I *might* have raised my voice at this point and said, I AM THE ONE LOSING SLEEP OVER MY HEALTH. And Jacob, who was right there, may have looked a little shocked. I'm on some meds that I promised to take but don't believe they will do a bit of good. Family Update: For being as poor as dirt, I was shocked to look through the pictures of the past month and realize how much fun  we've had. True, genuine fun doing silly things. Most of them were free or very cheap. We had to find a pumpkin patch or the whole fall season would have been a major fail for Hannah. So we showed up at this one in Homestead right as it opened. Being in the laid back culture that we are in right now, most of the workers weren't there...

The past few weeks have been a health nightmare. I have fatigue to end all fatigue, major nausea and a huge gut. Stop asking me if I'm pregnant. All of you. I have a CT scan tomorrow. Last week's tests were inconclusive and caused a very frustrating moment for Jacob and I, who were feeling quite desperate for some answers. We still are, obviously, but have come to more of an acceptance that I really can't do much of anything. Sometimes I vacuum. Sometimes I sleep for 2 hours. I go day to day right now. It's no life. I bit the bullet one Saturday and hauled the girls to South Beach. It's their favorite beachy spot and my least favorite. It reminds me of Las Vegas in a lot of ways. There are some blatant evils everywhere--nudity, inappropriate shops, people smoking pot right next to you and blasting songs with nasty lyrics. Somehow my kids are oblivious to all of this and just jump in the water. They don't even look around at who's there and what ever...

(Do you like how my blog titles are all phrases from You Can Call Me Al ? Eh?! YA?! Wonder how long I can keep it up.) I think my week can only be summed up in pictures. Graphic content, viewer discretion advised. First of all (no pics for this one), we had a lightning strike that destroyed everything from Comcast. Nothing else, just Comcast. It was so loud the cat jumped and Hannah started screaming. And we were without internet for 6 days. SIX DAYS. That's enough to cry about right there. So a few days later, and a fever and an eye infection later, I decided to take a drive to the Everglades for some nice, relaxing walks and pretty scenery. My first stop was called the Pa-hay-okee Trail. The first thing I saw when I got out of the car was this enormous golden orb spider. Two of the them. SWAYING ON THEIR WEBS. Picture a spider as big as your hand. I don't care how poisonous or unpoisonous it is. It's a big, fat pile of icky. I turned around and drove away. ...

One thing I really love about Miami is it doesn't fool around with ethnic food. Mexican food is actually authentic Mexican, otherwise they call it Tex-Mex or Southwestern. There is distinct difference between Cuban food and Jamaican food and you's a fool if you mix it up or just refer to everything as 'Mexican', like you'd see in other more northern states (ahem, Utah).  The same is true with Spanish. I thought I spoke Spanish, but I actually speak Mexican. Spanish from the Caribbean countries is so incredibly hard for me to understand--so bad that I can usually only pick out of a few words and piece them together. The other day I got my eyebrows waxed from a non-English speaker and as I was leaving, she started fussing and getting worked up. I could pick out the words 'eyebrows' and 'red'. I figured she was worried about how red and splotchy I get after a wax, so I said (in Spanish) "It's ok, this always happens and it will pass." Sh...

Bad week. Really bad week. I used to read this book to my students to teach about making inferences. The only words are "good news" and "bad news" and you have to look at the pictures to understand what's going on. I need my life to be this book right now--where I only have to say either 'good news' or 'bad news' and no other words are necessary. I've had to kind of shut down emotionally this week to be able to take it all in, and I think I've turned into what counselors sometimes call "newspaper reporter mode". I can rattle off events, give basic facts and categorize them as "good news" or "bad news".  Good news: Leah got into a program called Future Educators of America, which means once a week she goes into another classroom and helps grade tests, read with kids, be an aide, etc. She's SO excited and driven to keep her grades up so she can stay in the program. I think she's mostly ...

Something needs to be said about how I have FINALLY!!!! reconnected with one of my very best friends growing up. Sarah! *insert dancing hearts and leaping unicorns* Thank you, Facebook! I have several of you close, hooked at the heart, friends for life and she is one that I lost touch with for over a decade. It's been a huge relief and a major bright spot in my week, especially during a week that was otherwise quite gloomy and soul-searchy. We checked out the public library. I don't know how other big city library systems work, but here there are a million branches to the public library. That means that each branch is quite small, quite understocked and quite outdated. Didn't stop these turkeys from having a good time and getting glares from the librarian. I didn't care. Have fun, ladies. Hang upside down in a library and giggle loudly.  I'm an ocean person. I can't help myself. This shot is beautiful, also keep in mind the stifling humidity and heat ...