a blended life

Jacob had the day off. We made plans to go out to eat and see the fireworks at Coney Island. I went to a church BBQ while he studied.  When I got back, all his stuff was gone. He'd moved out and into an airbnb for three weeks. Or longer. I don't know.  Some things I know: 1. I feel strongly that this is a result of a mental health breakdown. We've all been through too much but he also had the stress and anxiety of starting residency.  2. I go through periods of hating him and not letting him back and periods of wanting to work it out. Mostly the first one.  3. The state denied my application for teacher certification which means I'm back to begging for work as an unqualified teacher.  Which narrows my options and irritates me like you wouldn't believe.  4. So basically I'm alone with Lucy in this apartment all day and night. Unless I want to battle the humidity and go somewhere. She started singing Row Row Row Your Boat today and I almost died of cute. It s...

1. This morning I got up at 3:45 am to get the girls to the airport for their summer visit with ___________. Fill in the blank with your favorite name for my ex husband. My dad called him Beavis and I'm all about honoring my dad's good name right now, so Beavis it is. And you can't have Beavis without Butthead, which is so fitting for his wife and oh I could go on about their shenanigans and trying to blame me for their failing marriage but that would sound like a bad reality show so I won't bother. I digress.  We barely made their flight. Lucy and I had to wait at the gait until the plane left the ground and by the time we got home from JFK it was 9 am. Someone asked me if I was glad their leaving so I could have time to myself. NO, PEOPLE!!!!! T was a very hard goodbye and they had to say bye to Lucy. Who in earth wants a month off from their young kids?! Sheesh. Which leads me to-- 2. Today was Jacobs first official day of residency. Amen and hallelujah that it's...