a blended life

Rather than go into the particulars of the visit with my mother in law and her husband, I think I'll go off on something totally random. That way I won't have to feel responsible for saying something inappropriate or getting into things that are way too personal. Here's a list of things I don't freely admit to most people: 1. Children's bubblegum Tylenol tastes really good 2.I love the way my kids smell 3. I like E! True Hollywood Story I think this list will grow as I come tro grips with my true self. Speaking of the devil, my coworker today asked me if I was ADD, because I stink at record keeping. This was definitely a first for me!

Isn't this a great shot of Blake? So typical. But in all fairness, he's ready to serve and will do well. A natural leader and very strong. Brian's mom's husband's mom died last week, so we knew they would be in Utah this week for the funeral. She called me this afternoon: "We're in Wendover and will be in Logan in a few hours." So much for cleaning the house before company comes! There was only one thing to do-feed the girls ramen for dinner and go for a walk in the stroller. For hte first time, they actually fell asleep en route. Maybe it was my smooth, lilting gait (joke), or maybe they could hear Mozart's Requiem on the iPod. Or maybe they were still pooped from the weekend. Anyway, pm is not my ideal time for a nap, so there was only one thing to do-go swimming as soon as Grammie came into town. Naturally, this idea was a hit with everyone, except maybe the mourning Brad. A real time to be had came as we were leaving. Leah's not-so-swim d...

Me and the girls returned from Boise a few hours ago and can I just say, the trip went much better than anyone expected. My mom and Jen teamed up and invited us at the last minute on Friday. Jen and Andy drove us there and my parents paid for the hotel. Brian stayed here and worked. What a trooper! I'm guessing he was grateful for the opportunity to bow out of a family gathering. For some reason, blogger is not letting me post a picture. It's a good one, too. grrrr. Leah spent hours and hours jumping on the trampoline-it was nice to have her entertaining herself for a while. Hannah was quite out of sorts for the event, but I can't complain to loudly. My family was very helpful. Blake's talk was very exceptional and inspirational. I was highly impressed and hope that my kids can have the testimony that he has when they are that age. The whole weekend was filled with enormous amounts of sugar and other foods. Unfortunately, I am too tired to write much more. As usual.

I didn't finish yesterday's post because...I can't remember. i'm sure it was important though. I think I was going off on what it's like to have an autistic daughter. Today was one of those special, what-in-the-world-are-we-going-to-do kinds of days. She was spinning out of control, so tired that she was unable to make any kind of rational or appropriate decision. Days like this are like having my own personal tornado following me around like a perpetual path of destruction, neverending messes to deal with and fires to put out. Brian and I decided to give her some Benadryl to calm things down. Before you freak out and say "I can't believe she drugged her child!", it should be known that several people have recommended to us that we have her on some kind of sedative. We don't like that idea, but some days are so bad that we feel there is no choice. Sometimes her inability to self regulate is a danger to herself and to others, and we can't risk a...

It's been two weeks since I broke my toe, so I celebrated by wearing sandals on both feet! Hooray for me! It went well, except when I stepped on an ice cream scoop that was lying on the bathroom floor. Another big event today was that Leah wore shorts and a T-shirt to Trisha's, instead of her usual "princess dress" attire that she nearly refuses to part with. Lucky for all of us, both important dresses were in the wash. I've discovered a way to do puzzles that's absolutely perfect and totally thrilling. I got a poster board, work on it at night when the kids are in bed, and shove it under the couch so no one can get to it. It's so exciting to me to be able to do puzzles again--I've really missed it. I'm missing Blake's mission farewell this coming weekend. We don't have money nor a car that will make it to Boise. I'm so bummed!! Many people are curious about what life is like with an autistic daughter. It's hard for me to answer bec...

I haven't blogged in a while because of two reasons-1)my kids and 2)my husband, who's had stomach flu and been time consuming. And he doesn't know I do this, so it's no fun to blog with him around. Hannah is currently crying in bed so this may or may not last. I thought I'd give a play by play of how church went for us today. 10:47-Load kids into the car, feeling amazed that we were able to get dressed and ready and out the door by this time. A miracle in itself. 10:55-Find a seat in the back in the chapel. Take kids for a walk for a few minutes before meeting. 11:02-The squirming and begging for fruit snacks begins. 11:07-Our name is read as new members of the ward. We stand up, and upon sitting down, Hannah begins wailing because she thought we were leaving. 11:10-Hannah hasn't stopped wailing. We give up and go out to the foyer, minus one of Hannah's shoes that we can't find. 11:11-11:25-Try in vain to keep kids reverent during the sacrament. Hannah i...

I've been having some epiphanous moments lately. Mostly involving how to deal with life with difficult children. Basically it goes like this-I have too high expectations for myself and for them. Most people would consider it routine to have some pictures taken of the kids and send them out to grandparents. However, with my kids, that is not a realisitic or a fair expectation. I need to let my hair down more and loosen up. Having a child with disabilities means there are limitations on what can be done. The house can't be clean all the time, or even some of the time. I can make a meal plan for the week, but I shouldn't expect that I will be able to make dinner all the time. If I have an appointment or something scheduled, it's okay to cancel if things aren't going well. I'm a little behind in figuring these things out... I'm reading Stephenie Meyer's book The Host, which came out this week. It's so good! My mom is in town. She stopped by with some flo...

Rough day-Leah turned aggressive in the late afternoon and Hannah wound up with a big gashy bruise on her forehead. I reacted poorly and through some miracle, we made it through the next couple hours. I went to a "parent training" that was put on by the ASSERT preschool entitled Parents as Teachers. It basically talked about the ABA principles that the therapists want us to use with Leah. The concepts are good, but getting it to work is going to take a lot of work. Okay I'm going to be bold here. I have body image issues. I'm constantly worried about what I put in my mouth and how much I weigh and how fat I think I am. Unfortunately, that doesn't stop me from putting a lot of crap into my mouth. But it's something that weighs on my mind frequently. Now that I have that off my chest, maybe I can move on and do something about it. or not.

Here it is! My first post to my blog. The best part so far-nobody knows I'm doing this so I can say whatever I want. Unfortunately, I'm too tired to be creative or insightful. Today didn't go as planned-I got in a fight with the piano bench at 5 am. It won and I wound up at Dr. Firth's office with a broken toe. We talked about Brian and about us leaving the King's house. I said that Brian liked his job and was doing better, and that we told the Kings to not contact us again. He said that was a smart decision. I'll accept that, coming from a smart guy like him. We had a therapy session with Leah's new "helpers" today. They came over and asked a thousand questions about taking care of her. We feel hopeful that they will give us some new ideas on how to deal. How do we keep her in bed at night? How do we get her to stop hitting? How can I get her to play by herself for a few minutes? HELP!! They were good and we are excited about finally being able to...