a blended life

Things I have no control over: 1. The amount of scotcharoos I inhale. 2. How many IEP meetings I will attend this school year (it will be over 60 by the end of May). 3. Anything involving the study of medicine. 4. The topics of discussion my kids have with their friends when I'm not around. 5. The weather. 6. The acres of fruit trees that grow here and give me allergies. 7. What my kids do when they are with their dad and his wife and kids. 8. How far away some of my family and very close friends live.

Even in my my previous marriage, I orchestrated and did  just about everything. Everything. Then I got divorced and orchestrated....everything. And I didn't know any better so I didn't know there was a better way Then Jacob came along. And he did a lot of stuff. Stuff I'm not good at, like grocery shopping (blech) and decorating for kid birthday parties. How do these things come so naturally to some people? He had the place looking fantastic. Effortlessly. And in the space of a few weeks, I happily forgot what it was like to live an adult life full of orchestrating everything that needs to be done. I'm laying in bed wondering how I'm going to get us out the door in the morning, take the garbage can out to the street, go grocery shopping, fix the dryer vent, arrange babysitting, have a pink-eye Hannah in my classroom because I'm out of sick leave, decide what's for dinner, get both girl's homework done, and on and on. How did I forget so quickly? It...

I didn't blog for two months. I didn't want to because frankly, I was enjoying my time with Jacob too much. But I missed sharing a lot of stuff that happened and I'm sorry about that. Christmas was wonderful, so was Hannah's birthday and Valentine's. I'm glad we're past these events and getting ready for spring, though. A really obvious confession: I love song lyrics. Little phrases of songs will run through my head throughout the day and I get disappointed if someone doesn't know what I'm talking about (so I'm always disappointed). Here are some that keep running through my head lately: And soon we'll have this tale to tell; All is well! All is well! And I think to myself, What a wonderful world. I don't find this stuff amusing anymore. "I am leaving, I am leaving," but the fighter still remains. And for some reason, Leah keeps singing these two: It's a quarter after one, I'm a little drunk and I need you ...