a blended life

I think I'm actually at a point where I can/want to/have the time for/feel inspired to blog again. Let's all agree the 2016 wasn't my best year. I'm ready to admit that part of my hangup with blogging is that I can't get my phone and blogger to stop fighting and let me post some pics already. I'm sorry. But my life is slip slidin' away over here in Brooklyn, and some experiences absolutely must be documented.  Like the time Leah had a category of apps on her phone entitled 'Meth', but it turns out she was confusing it with the word 'Meh'. It was all the apps she can't delete and never uses.  Or the time she didn't wear a coat to school and came home and announced the she "would wear protection next time." Gasp! Or how we have the world's cutest baby living with us, bringing tons of joy and happy. Or what about how Jacob is Doctor Franklin, Rheumatologist by day, and Jacob the Uber Driver ...

I know it's been months since I've blogged. I know it's not like me to go so long. I've started so many posts and didn't finish them. I had a baby. She's delicious and brilliant and intense and strong. She loves her sisters and dad and gets hauled around by me every chance I get. She spends half the night sleeping on my chest because I can't bear to put her down before I have to go to work. She smells like heaven. She has extra large opening in a heart valve that will require surgery soon, a topic that terrifies me so I don't talk about it. She is strong. She will be ok. She has been fighting for her life since the beginning. I started a job the day after we returned from Utah to see my parents off on their mission to Romania. It's a K-8 charter school in Bedford-Stuyvesant, a neighborhood in Brooklyn known for its low income families and crime. Most of the students live in the projects. Most of them don't know how to respond to an adult unle...

I know I've mentioned this, but I wanted to say one more time how grateful I am for the baby shower my sister organized (and my other sister hosted). I finished using up gift cards this week and now we're all set with a car seat, stroller, bath stuff and other necessities. It's a huge relief to feel prepared--a feeling I've not had for a really long time.  In other baby news, I am over the bronchitis and have had what I think might be a typical 9 month pregnancy week. The usual discomfort, bathroom trips, funky appetite, sleep issues. It's one of the few weeks of this whole pregnancy that I've felt somewhat normal.  Also my brother's cat found a nest in the Pak N Play. This lasted the duration of one cat nap before I vetoed that spot. Black fur on my white bassinet?? No thanks. (It should be noted that the cat and I have a great relationship, despite the red hives I get on my neck when she gets near me).  Leah decided to finish her Faith...

Before we talk about heavy things, here are some photos to make us happy. Or at least distract us. When you go to Seaside and wear squid hats:  When it takes you and your mom an hour to figure out how to set up the future sleeping spot of Baby Yet To Be Named: When you can't figure out why your daughter is an overachiever and you end up at a school breakfast for honor roll students: When you have that friend who knows how to tell you to start taking care of yourself and learn how to relax already and it's exactly what you needed: When your mom tries to play Just Dance: When your sister, who already organized an incredible long distance baby shower, recommends a book that describes yourself in scary detail: Non-picture, heavy things to talk about: Jacob visited last weekend. It was both a good visit, especially for the girls to see him again, but also a difficult one. We had a lot of choices to make and options to we...

Hello, Bloggy McBlogface!! It's been a while.  Isn't this the cutest background? I put it up a few weeks ago but still hadn't found the ability to write the words I know you want to hear. I think I'm ready now but if all this comes out awkward, can we still be friends? I could use a friend right now. There is a blogger/facebooker lady that I love who does a website call Parenting: Illustrated In Crappy Pictures. She even calls her kids Crappy Baby and Crappy Boy (which are names we all think of at least once a week in regards to our kids. Don't deny it). She stopped blogging/drawing for a few months to give her creative side a break and focus on other things. I also have this pattern in my life so it was a relief to hear that someone else does this thing. It happens mostly with me and music--I will play/teach/perform for a few years, then I need a break before I can jump in again. Sometimes a few weeks, sometimes a year. Blogging, writing, crafting, sewing, et...

I've reached that awkward point where I have so much to say and nothing to say and no idea how to reconcile the two. I'm happy to report some happy things. Leah and Hannah are doing better than I would have ever guessed. They do well in school, they've made lots of friends in a short period of time, they get along with each other and play in the street with neighborhood kids. They're smart and kind. I'm so grateful for them. They hug my belly and talk to the baby. Did someone say baby? It looks like this baby girl is here to permanently disrupt our family (that can be a good thing!) She's very strong and my body cannot keep up with this pregnancy. I'm surprised at how many people hoped we would have a boy. I'm even more surprised at how many people 'suggested' that I should have more kids just so I can have a boy. Because we know that girls just aren't enough to complete a family. Oh, mercy, I will not even continue this subject. There is...

A few things: 1) Yes, we're fine. 2) Have you noticed the influx of new vocabulary and phrases? I feel so unhip most of the time. 'Gender reveal' is one of those things that used to never be a thing. 3) I can't figure out how to undo this blog template and put a new one up. Sorry. 4) My last post was my 500th post. I feel like I should get a gold medal for doing something so voluntary a whopping 500 times.  I finally got some prenatal care going here in Washington. I'm seeing a group of midwives who promote things like water births. I'm open minded, but the whole thing seems so....messy. Anyway, here's video of me telling the girls what the baby's gender is:

My cousin recently posted this on Facebook : "I just completed my goal for 2014! I flossed my teeth 353 days! What should be my goal for 2015?" Or something close to that. You're free to think whatever you want about that particular post/important goal for the year. I've already come to my own conclusions. But it's an intro to something I've been thinking about this week: making goals every January 1st for the year.  Confessions: I hate New Year's resolutions. I'm not going to do them or feel obligated to set goals that I will stress about in a week.  Instead of setting goals and trying to accomplish more than I'm already doing, I started thinking that what I really need is to give myself permission to be more human. I need to let go of ideals, pride, social expectations, and my own darn stubborn attitude more than I need to lose weight or learn Russian.  (side comment: If goals really work for you, I'm so happy for you. Please d...