What If I Die Here?

(Do you like how my blog titles are all phrases from You Can Call Me Al? Eh?! YA?! Wonder how long I can keep it up.)

I think my week can only be summed up in pictures. Graphic content, viewer discretion advised.


First of all (no pics for this one), we had a lightning strike that destroyed everything from Comcast. Nothing else, just Comcast. It was so loud the cat jumped and Hannah started screaming. And we were without internet for 6 days. SIX DAYS. That's enough to cry about right there.

So a few days later, and a fever and an eye infection later, I decided to take a drive to the Everglades for some nice, relaxing walks and pretty scenery. My first stop was called the Pa-hay-okee Trail. The first thing I saw when I got out of the car was this enormous golden orb spider. Two of the them. SWAYING ON THEIR WEBS. Picture a spider as big as your hand. I don't care how poisonous or unpoisonous it is. It's a big, fat pile of icky.

I turned around and drove away.

So I kept driving on the Everglades road, doing some good bird watching (vultures are so big!) when I nearly ran over a giant snake. It was flopping across the road when I was driving, but I didn't hear a thump. So I did the only smart thing to do, which was turn around and see what happened. The snake was curled up in the middle of the road in this distorted position. So of course I got out of the car to see if I had killed one of those endangered species snakes. Its mouth was wide open and I could see its massive fangs. It kept twitching and I thought it was dying. Slowly, it closed its trap and suddenly slithered away. People, this snake was not yer momma's backyard snake. It was the length of the dotted line to the solid line on the road. And THICK. Like python thick. I even threw key lime cookies at it to see if it would move. I found out later it's a water moccasin, or Florida Cottonmouth. It took me casually telling this story at dinnertime and seeing Jacob's shocked reaction that I actually got out of the car and threw stuff at it to realize that it was a bit of a dumb idea. Dangerous snake, dangerous situation. I don't think my naive little self comprehended the situation. I mean, why would a snake bite me? I'm so nice and love everything :). Plus I'm never going back to the Everglades again.

I drove away.

 I drove tot he end of the road to a visitor's center called Flamingo. Also I learned something. The buildings around here are not well kept. They keep getting destroyed by hurricanes, so there's not much point in making real beautiful, modern buildings every few years. Anyway.

I'm glad I stuck out my drive because the view was so worth it. This is where the tip of Florida meets the Caribbean ocean. Obviously the photo doesn't do it justice. It really was a great view and something about the ocean soothes my soul. Every time.

I have a growth in my lower abdomen. I have all the signs of a pregnancy, but am bleeding. It's not a miscarriage--I've had those and those behave differently. I've had some tests but so far it's looking like a fast growing tumor. Most of the time they are benign. I look like I'm about 4 months pregnant. I almost can't hide my belly anymore. I'm so exhausted that I keep giving up activities and basically giving up my life. I've spent the whole week in bed. I hate it a lot. My family hates it a lot. I feel lonely and scared and I don't have any answers.