a blended life

I have no shame in this. I pulled the girls out of school on Thursday to go ice skating and to Red Robin. We practically had Peaks Arena to ourselves and it was so, so, so much fun. Hannah only cried half the time, so that's real progress. I loved it so much we went back twice and have planned to go 3 times this next week. I was looking through my past posts from last semester and realized I'd become mentally ill. So I've found a hobby that will get me through break without a psychotic episode, only to have to abandon it when I start teaching.  Yay. Here's how it feels to skate: Peaks Arena was the Olympic hockey venue in 2002. All that means is that we're getting spoiled with nice facilities and it'll be that much more frustrating if we ever move.  She's getting really adept at scooting around.  "Mom, I'm so graceful on ice." In typical Leah fashion, she is good at nearly everything she tries. A fact tha...

This post started out being "All The Ways Hannah Controls My Life," but I'd hate to sound so negative even if it is completely accurate. So here are some lovely flowers to start us off, courtesy of my longest-running, South Dakota-livin' friend. Proof that young friendships are to be taken seriously and sometimes they really were meant to be:  There is a story behind this picture and an explanation for that little rat's attitude. No, actually, there is no explanation for that, but here is the story anyway. We spent the morning putting together a family picture outfit. We would have to take the picture immediately after school when the lighting was just right, so I wanted it all ready before they got home. Hannah helped me choose clothes and we had a long talk about how there wouldn't be time to curl her hair.  I have nothing to say for myself, except that in the real family picture, she is wearing a completely different outfit and ...

It's not a big secret that a certain relative has filled out an eHarmony profile for me and paid for a few months. Something about the whole thing has made me really frustrated and it's taken a few weeks for me to pinpoint why. So here's why. It's just not me. Every word has to be carefully chosen and second-guessed and rewritten. And maybe a part of me has always felt way too odd to find true and everlasting love (sarcasm) through the internet. I decided to write down what my profile should really say, maybe as a way of having my voice heard? The one thing I am passionate about:               Pickles The most important thing I am looking for:                Just be opposite of everything I hated about my ex-husband. We can negotiate the rest. Most influential person in my life:               Myself. Aren't we are own worst enemy? Or should I stop analyzing Life of ...

I haven't posted about my birthday. Or Thanksgiving. Or some cute holiday stuff my girls have been doing. Or the fact that I had to drop all my piano students so I could survive student teaching. Or the best rainbow I've ever seen or the makeover Karina gave me or chicken stories (you know you want them) or the hundred other things that should go into this blog. Here's what I've done instead: Wrote a ten page paper in 3 hours. Took my last final ever. Worn through ALL my clothes. Laundry tomorrow. Started some new medication. Side effect: weight loss. No complaining! Had some impatient mom moments. One of them resulted in a 7:45 bedtime.  Did a puzzle in 4 hours. Central Park! Dogs!  Learned a Chopin Mazurka. Watched snow fall. Read a few books. Ender's Game and The Secret Keeper. They were excellent. Went out to lunch with a favorite uncle and his lady. Also excellent. So I'm not a total slacker, I just seem to not blo...

Yesterday this little spitfire handed me a coupon that she'd clipped. I honestly didn't know that she knew what coupons did, let alone how to clip them. It said,"Free Pizza." And she asked when we'd be getting her some pizza now that she found a good deal. It was for Domino's buy one, get one free. I thought about how learning to read can be a curse as well as a blessing. I remember when her older sister learned to read and started shouting traffic signs at me. "MOM! STOP!" As if I hadn't figured out how to stop yet. Thank goodness I have my daughters to save money and lives. Today Hannah said,"Mom, I don't understand why people think we look like each other. I mean, you have short hair AND you like potatoes." Two strikes against mom, I guess! This random thought brought to you by an extremely boring class that I'm desperately trying to not walk out on. I can't take it anymore, folks. 

"This blog made possible by a generous donation from the J and K Day Foundation, and from viewers like you. Thank you." This is only funny if you watch PBS kids, and even then, it's not that funny. In other words, due to a generous contribution ($1.37) from an anonymous donor (Jakey-Wakey), I bought a bit more storage and can now show pictures. {cue audience applause} Here are some blog statistics that I thought were interesting: Total page views: 10,400 Total posts: 374 Total posts containing random content: 371 Cost of having blog printed into a book: $110.00 Posts I started but didn't publish: 65. Probably offensive rants about SOMEONE'S ex-husband. I know one was boasting my GPA, but it sounded too braggy so I didn't follow through. The next obvious question is, Who are all you people? I think my blog should be titled "Blog of people who read but refuse to comment". But now that I said that, I need to make this completely clear: I don...

I'm testing Blogger to see if it'll let me post pictures. Because I know everyone's dying to see birthday and Thanksgiving pictures. I pulled this off the internet, so........what that means is I don't know what I'm doing.

Would you like the good news or the bad news first? (Don't you hate it when people say that? Of course I never want the bad news. Besides, don't drag it out and make me guess and squirm. If you have bad news, tell me in a few concise sentences. Okay, my rant is over and I'm done.) Good news: Thanksgiving was great. Much better than anticipated. In fact, we enjoyed it. Bad news: I've reached the photo quota on my blog and Blogger won't let me upload anymore unless I pay for more space in Picasa. Or something like that. Which leads me to: More bad news: I hate these kind of techno issues and it will take me hours to figure out how to get pictures to upload on my blog again. But really, Good news: I've kept this blog up for nearly 4.5 years. That's a long time. I probably would have stopped if I was depending on readership. So, a reasonable conclusion would be: Good news: If I can keep up a blog for almost 5 years, surely I can finish my degree even...

Have you seen those internet pictures that are written in incomplete sentences? "That moment when you look at him and he's already looking at you."   What does that even mean? WHAT MOMENT, PEOPLE? Finish your thought! It's like saying, "Oh, I heard the funniest thing about you, but...never mind. I shouldn't say it."  I'm too outdated for these kinds of things, and it literally took me months to figure out that there wasn't going to be an ending to that incomplete sentence.  So, in spite of itself, my head has been thinking of it's own incomplete sentences. "That moment when you cut your nails and the clipping flies off into oblivion and you find it two weeks later." "That moment when you pass gas in a store and blame it on the baby." "That moment when you realized you spent way too long thinking about that moment." Here are a few randoms. I'll try to write in incomplete senten...

I have health issues. They are numerous and slightly ridiculous, like getting migraines on Sundays, not to mention a few women's problems that I won't bore you with. It's affecting every part of my life. The last doctor I went to tried to fix each individual issue, then told me my blood work was normal (LIAR!!!!). A friend recommended a different doctor who specializes in hormones and women's health and was supposed to be " very excellent". And when something is better than just excellent, you better pay attention. After rescheduling twice--once for being overstressed and once for insurance--I finally made it today. After about 534 questions, it was determined that I have....drum roll please... too much estrogen. Isn't that a wonderful diagnosis? Never was a woman so proud. So to balance out my poor, decrepit body, I have to rub progesterone cream on, I quote again, " body parts that don't have much fat".  I asked, What part would tha...

...Hannah used to cry all day? Those days aren't over. Instead of full-blown bawling, she fusses and whines and chases everyone with a plastic bat inside the house. Like today, for example.  Those days will never end, I've decided. She will wear me out and demand everything I have until the end. And then complain because it wasn't right, it wasn't enough. But then my heart will melt a little and I'll let her crawl into my lap and we'll rock. Until she stomps away and says, "Your chewing is so gross!" Like today, for example.  But I'll let her back in my lap with her Pooh softie and owl slippers and 'sugar jammies', her term for a pair of pj pants with doughnuts on them. And I'll smell her hair and she'll say, "You're the best mommy in the world," and all will be right in the world.  The only thing that kept her quiet today was watching Hello, Dolly!. Thank you, Barbara Streisand. 

So, a few days ago I posted my true, uncensored feelings about those thankful lists on Facebook. Then I realized that many of my friends and family are actually taking it seriously and posting grateful things, so I deleted my post and felt a mild amount of shame for being snarky when I really could be...grateful?   THEN, I figured I shouldn't be so worried about offending people and really, if you are reading this blog, you probably understand my blunt rhetoric and would be forgiving of my slightly bitter take on the whole thing. And because we are all friends, I should have left the post up. So I went to re-post, but Blogger deleted the whole thing completely. Lesson learned--if you write a biting post about what other people put on Facebook, don't delete it. I can choose to not read Facebook, after all. Or better yet, I could just be a grateful person and uplift 339 people with my thankful thoughts everyday in the month of November. Especially if I have THE MOST WONDERFUL h...

I've reached a special point in the night where I'm too tired to study anything and too awake to go to bed. So I blog. I mentioned last time that I went to Devil's Kitchen. It's outside of Nephi (yep, Utah has a town called Nephi) and into some mountains. It was actually stunning scenery, another reminder that Utah has some really fantastic landscapes. The beauty is there, folks, it just has to be found sometimes. Bad lighting, but still cool: To get here, you drive on some road (duh) and walk on a woodsy path about 1/4 of a mile. Then all of sudden, voila! Red rock and hoodoos everywhere. Hoodoos are those tall spiky things that stand alone. The whole thing is totally out of place with the rest of the scenery. It looks very desert-ish but is actually in the middle of the Uintah forest. I was alone and don't know how long I gawked at it. Then my camera died and I peed in a bush.  Tonight I should be at Witch's Night Out at Gardner Village with ...

Let's openly acknowledge this important fact:  I've lost my marbles. Here are a few examples: 1. My Netflix home page is almost entirely kid's stuff. Except for that re-watching of Sherlock incident. Other than that, I have neither the time nor the attention span to sit through a show. My kids have taken over and now Netflix thinks I like Yo Gabba Gabba. I promise I don't.  2. The chicken being singled out here (with the huge tail feathers whose name is June) climbed on my arm and started preening my hair for me. Even weirder--I let her do it. Even weirder than that--I thought it was cute. 3. I'd rather have chickens than a dog. And considering my BFF growing up was a corgi named Spock ("Pookie!"), this is extremely strange.  4. I made an appointment with a doctor to discuss all the ways stress is affecting my health. Then I canceled the appointment because it was too stressful to make the time to go.  5. I ate a w...

I should do this more often. This is just the past week. Me: "Leah, did you go potty?" Leah: "Yeah, I already went twice in the bath." Me: "......." Hannah watching the debate: "Mom, I really like Aback Orama." (keep in mind that I don't discuss politics with my kids. yet.) Hannah: "Mom, pictures of you look really weird. But it's okay, you're pretty cool in real life." Leah: "Can we please work on Faith in God? I just really want to be a better person." Leah: "I was waiting for a good time to say this and Sunday seems to be a good time. I think you are a great mom." Awww!! Me: "Oh, crap." Leah: "Crap is a swear. And all you do is SWEAR." I don't, by the way.

I woke up at 5 am today with a blasting migraine, sore back and pained knees. After a handful of Excedrin, half a sleeve of saltines and two Mounds (yum!), I decided, "What better way to spend my morning than blogging about Fall Break." Naturally. Here's the deal about Fall Break. It happens in Utah every fall (!) and magically coincides with the start of the deer hunting season. I told the girls we were going to do whatever didn't cost very much money, and one of the days had to be a hike. We (mom, girls, Jacob, me) went to Timp Caves early Thursday morning to hike. I called ahead and was assured that we could hike and it wasn't too full that day (they only allow a certain number of people to go through the caves at a time, so you have to make reservations). We drove an hour to get there and they said it was too full. Argh!! We took Jacob home and went with Plan B. They wanted to ride Trax (again) and go to Temple Square (again). See the Spring Break...

(The title "Great Harvest" refers to an excellent bakery here in Utah. If you haven't tried it, please come visit me and we'll have some fat-tastic, calorific goodness.) Face Update: At the follow-up appointment with the dermatologist, he said (and this an exact quote), "If you'd like, I can harvest one of those sores so we can see exactly what virus it is. You'll have a permanent scar, though." He actually said 'harvest' in reference to something on my face. I had to decline such a tempting offer. I look much better now--just some scabby, flaky leftovers. I'm willing to pull my head out of my hoodie and face real life. "Stop looking at me!" Let's talk about something else. Like something else harvest-related. If you're like me, you make it to October every year and think, "All I want is about a million pumpkins because they are the happiest, wonderfullest vegetable."So this year, I decided to pl...