Talk on Resurrection

Remember that time when Ryan Woodward asked me to speak on Fathers Day and I was recently divorced and Brian was going to be in the congregation? That was funny. 

Leah and I got asked to speak in church on resurrection. I'm happy to report that I resisted the urge to strangle the second counselor in the bishopric for assigning such a sensitive topic after the death of my dad. But I gave him a really firm speech in my mind. 

I feel like it was the talk I would have given had I spoken at his funeral. It wasn't about Dad, it was about what we lose in this life and how that gets compensated through the atonement and resurrection. We lose so much, if you think about it. Jobs, miscarried babies, money, health, opportunities, trust, housing, time, respect, keys, gallbladders.  Marbles. We have dark hours of unanswered questions and really, really unfair circumstances. Those will be set right. I don't know how. But I know they will. 

I talked about the paradox of feeling immense grief and joy. That if you feel a tremendous depth of grief, you are also able to feel a tremendous capacity for joy. But I don't believe that I am required to feel joy ALL THE TIME. 

My talk was more of a blubbering ugly cry party that the whole ward was invited to attend. They attended and we all got through it together. 5 pairs of missionaries, the stake president and all his kids were there. They all mourned with me and we carried this impossible burden for a little while together. I'm so grateful for church during times likes this. 

I was surprised at how many people came up to me and wanted to talk about their {sister, mom, dad, etc} who had died and they all said the same thing: it took a really long time to feel ok again. One of my friends, Liz, told me two things that have really helped. She lost her sister last year in a horrible way-- she died of alcoholism related causes in prison from lack of medical attention. And left three kids. She said:

1) God is also mourning with you. He knows how much it hurts and is sharing that pain. 

2) Your relationship with your dad will continue to evolve. We talked about this for a while. If my dad is in the spirit world, isn't it selfish of me to want or expect him to be with me or help me? Doesn't that take away from more important things, like helping my mom or someone with actual problems? 

No. 

I don't believe that anymore. There are t o many things we don't understand about the spirit world and it's completely reasonable to expect that I can still have a relationship with my dad. It's up to me to figure out how to do that. 

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