a blended life

The past few weeks have been a health nightmare. I have fatigue to end all fatigue, major nausea and a huge gut. Stop asking me if I'm pregnant. All of you. I have a CT scan tomorrow. Last week's tests were inconclusive and caused a very frustrating moment for Jacob and I, who were feeling quite desperate for some answers. We still are, obviously, but have come to more of an acceptance that I really can't do much of anything. Sometimes I vacuum. Sometimes I sleep for 2 hours. I go day to day right now. It's no life. I bit the bullet one Saturday and hauled the girls to South Beach. It's their favorite beachy spot and my least favorite. It reminds me of Las Vegas in a lot of ways. There are some blatant evils everywhere--nudity, inappropriate shops, people smoking pot right next to you and blasting songs with nasty lyrics. Somehow my kids are oblivious to all of this and just jump in the water. They don't even look around at who's there and what ever...

(Do you like how my blog titles are all phrases from You Can Call Me Al ? Eh?! YA?! Wonder how long I can keep it up.) I think my week can only be summed up in pictures. Graphic content, viewer discretion advised. First of all (no pics for this one), we had a lightning strike that destroyed everything from Comcast. Nothing else, just Comcast. It was so loud the cat jumped and Hannah started screaming. And we were without internet for 6 days. SIX DAYS. That's enough to cry about right there. So a few days later, and a fever and an eye infection later, I decided to take a drive to the Everglades for some nice, relaxing walks and pretty scenery. My first stop was called the Pa-hay-okee Trail. The first thing I saw when I got out of the car was this enormous golden orb spider. Two of the them. SWAYING ON THEIR WEBS. Picture a spider as big as your hand. I don't care how poisonous or unpoisonous it is. It's a big, fat pile of icky. I turned around and drove away. ...

One thing I really love about Miami is it doesn't fool around with ethnic food. Mexican food is actually authentic Mexican, otherwise they call it Tex-Mex or Southwestern. There is distinct difference between Cuban food and Jamaican food and you's a fool if you mix it up or just refer to everything as 'Mexican', like you'd see in other more northern states (ahem, Utah).  The same is true with Spanish. I thought I spoke Spanish, but I actually speak Mexican. Spanish from the Caribbean countries is so incredibly hard for me to understand--so bad that I can usually only pick out of a few words and piece them together. The other day I got my eyebrows waxed from a non-English speaker and as I was leaving, she started fussing and getting worked up. I could pick out the words 'eyebrows' and 'red'. I figured she was worried about how red and splotchy I get after a wax, so I said (in Spanish) "It's ok, this always happens and it will pass." Sh...

Bad week. Really bad week. I used to read this book to my students to teach about making inferences. The only words are "good news" and "bad news" and you have to look at the pictures to understand what's going on. I need my life to be this book right now--where I only have to say either 'good news' or 'bad news' and no other words are necessary. I've had to kind of shut down emotionally this week to be able to take it all in, and I think I've turned into what counselors sometimes call "newspaper reporter mode". I can rattle off events, give basic facts and categorize them as "good news" or "bad news".  Good news: Leah got into a program called Future Educators of America, which means once a week she goes into another classroom and helps grade tests, read with kids, be an aide, etc. She's SO excited and driven to keep her grades up so she can stay in the program. I think she's mostly ...

Something needs to be said about how I have FINALLY!!!! reconnected with one of my very best friends growing up. Sarah! *insert dancing hearts and leaping unicorns* Thank you, Facebook! I have several of you close, hooked at the heart, friends for life and she is one that I lost touch with for over a decade. It's been a huge relief and a major bright spot in my week, especially during a week that was otherwise quite gloomy and soul-searchy. We checked out the public library. I don't know how other big city library systems work, but here there are a million branches to the public library. That means that each branch is quite small, quite understocked and quite outdated. Didn't stop these turkeys from having a good time and getting glares from the librarian. I didn't care. Have fun, ladies. Hang upside down in a library and giggle loudly.  I'm an ocean person. I can't help myself. This shot is beautiful, also keep in mind the stifling humidity and heat ...

It's the 31st and I want to be able to say I blogged 4 times this month. It's also 11:45 pm so this will be short. I don't know how to explain the ups and downs we've had this week, mostly involve my job/identity crisis. We need money. We need me to be the one bringing in the money. It has taken an act of Congress for me to figure out what in holy blazes I am supposed to be doing with myself down here. I had a job interview on Friday with another private school for learning disabled kids. It was the strangest one I've had yet. I was asked to write 6 essays about lame crap (What are the 3 things students need most?) before even meeting with anyone. Then the director spent about 3 minutes looking at my stuff and said, "I know you're an exceptional teacher because you're a classical musician. That tells me you are dedicated and focused." I stared at her quite dumbly and she said, "Your writing is fantastic. You can say the most profound thing...

So I had a job for a week. I can't believe I had it that long, considering I never felt right about it. I went to teach my first day on Monday and it was the worst first day in the history of teaching. One hour into it and I knew I couldn't return another day. I hated the kids and the job and nothing was right. I've never felt this way before. Meanwhile, on the other side of the county, Jacob got the girls ready for school (this included packing Hannah a lunch in an empty Oreo box and taping shut with medical tape. Voila, lunch pail) and took them to find their teachers, find their way around, etc. Keep in my mind that this place has NO back to school night or orientation for newbies or anything. You just show up and hope for the best. He texted me, in the middle of my bad day, saying that there is no option for after school care because it was full. To make a long story short, all the planning I had done to get childcare before and after school had fallen through. Unless...