This one really stunk

One time Augustus Gloop fell into a chocolate river...

I love food too much to lose my appetite very often, but today it happened. And if you have a weak stomach I would recommend skipping this post.

Leah takes swimming lessons at the gym where I go for Pilates. I showed up, with Hannah in tow, for the last few minutes of her lesson and saw her refusing to participate. This is VERY strange for her because she's usually so well behaved in a class setting. I had to coax her out of the pool and she announced that she had pooped in her suit. She doesn't wear a swim diaper. I peaked in the back end quickly-not wanting tomake a scene-and saw a small mountain of brown rocks up her backside. I was too mortified, embarrassed and grossed out to have a teaching moment so all that came out of my mouth was "Bathroom. Now." I rushed and she waddled a penquin-like shuffle to the handicap stall of the locker room (big enough for the three of us, plus the elephant turd in her suit). She had a lava flow that was running down her legs and making brown footprints in her wake all over the floor. Here's a dilemma I had to work out on the spothow do you take off a swimsuit full of crap without getting it everywhere? I had Leah stand on the toilet (more brown footprints) and started to pull of the suit, using the least amount of my fingers as possible.

I'd like to pause for a moment for some quick discussion. Before having kids, I expressed concern about cleaning up bodily functions. People would say 'it's different when it's your own kid'. Untrue statement. Poop is poop and barf is barf. I don't care who you are or how you are related to me-both events are nauseating to me and take a great deal of mental pep-talking to deal with. I will never be a nurse. Back to the story...

So I pull off the suit, with the raisinette lava flow spilling out onto my hands, the floor, and the toilet. The suit was her favorite one- it had little purple flowers and a ruffle. It looked like someone had spread not-quite-mixed brownie batter on the inside. I mentioned my queasy stomach for these kinds of things, so that's what ruled my decision to throw the suit away, instead of take it home and...do what? Scrape off more brownie bites? No thank you! Leah was still covered in what looked like brown sand-front to back, stomach to feet. I led her by the head into the showers. I made her scrub off twice, until I was sure she wasn't bringing home any unwelcome bits. She really felt horrible so I was glad I didn't scold or lecture.

A couple pieces of information that kind of make this story more interesting:

Utah dealt with an ugly cryptosporidium outbreak last year, so all public pools went through great lengths to make sure something like this wouldn't happen and infect everyone.

Last week, I was talking with another mom of a kid with autism and we were discussing potty training. Both of our kids refuse to poo in the toilet-they wait until they have a pullup on to do a big job. Since that conversation, Leah pooped in the potty twice, so I was proud and thought the bizarre poo complex was behind us. I NEVER would have guessed that she would drop a huge load in a pool. I have a great picture of this event-I just need Brian to show me how to get a picture off the phone and into the computer.