a blended life

There are 23 days of school left, which means we have about 5 days of effective teaching and 18 days of assemblies, games, parties, field trips, and state testing. None of those things counts as effective teaching. And that will be the end of my rant on public education. Because of state testing requirements, I've found myself in a room with a few kids sitting at a computer trying to take the #$%@ state tests. I'm not allowed to help or intervene, so I've got quite a bit of free time on my hands. Hence the blogging. Rather than trying to catch up on a whirlwind year, I'm just going to share a few pics. Because pictures make everyone happy. Jacob and Hannah tackle a few stray eyebrow hairs. It's like surgery. On brows. On our way to school one day. I hate the house we live in--it's really old and THERE'S NO DISHWASHER, but the neighborhood and yard are great.  We took a Spring Break jaunt to Capitol Reef. I LOVE the national parks...

So Jacob is taking this prep course in Overland Park. That's right on the border of Kansas and Missouri ( I had to look it up). And when I did look it up, I thought, Seriously? Kansas? Missouri? Who goes there?! Last weekend I went to visit and surprise, it's actually a cool place. Kansas City has a lot of personality and some great food. Jacob was studying/testing for part of the time, so I had some free time to read, eat, read, sleep in, read.  They are taking the course right at the hotel where Jacob is staying. During one of the practice tests, the instructor put a kind reminder up to NOT do a big job in the closest bathroom since it would disrupt the test takers. I don't know if it's funnier that he wrote this sign or that he HAD to write this sign. Downtown Kansas City has several sections. One is devoted to kids--including a big Hallmark Center with TONS of fun stuff. We spent a little bit poking around here, looking at a Crayola store, Legol...

I like to speak with as few words as possible. I'll usually think about something for days or even months before I decide to say it, and even then, I will only say it if it's concise, true and efficient. I don't have patience with wordy books, friends, or students. Don't worry--none of you fall into this category. I could only make it through Lord of the Rings  by flipping past all those pages of elven songs. Sheesh. If something can't be defined in an exact way I get very frustrated. I spend a long time silently figuring it out. At the same time, I don't like rigid boundaries and don't want people to shove me into a category if I don't meet every single criteria. I feel like there are many things in my life that are difficult to define or classify. My relationship with my kids, for example. They are complex, fascinating little creatures that wear me out within 15 minutes of getting out of bed. Our relationship can't be summed up in a few words--...

Things I have no control over: 1. The amount of scotcharoos I inhale. 2. How many IEP meetings I will attend this school year (it will be over 60 by the end of May). 3. Anything involving the study of medicine. 4. The topics of discussion my kids have with their friends when I'm not around. 5. The weather. 6. The acres of fruit trees that grow here and give me allergies. 7. What my kids do when they are with their dad and his wife and kids. 8. How far away some of my family and very close friends live.

Even in my my previous marriage, I orchestrated and did  just about everything. Everything. Then I got divorced and orchestrated....everything. And I didn't know any better so I didn't know there was a better way Then Jacob came along. And he did a lot of stuff. Stuff I'm not good at, like grocery shopping (blech) and decorating for kid birthday parties. How do these things come so naturally to some people? He had the place looking fantastic. Effortlessly. And in the space of a few weeks, I happily forgot what it was like to live an adult life full of orchestrating everything that needs to be done. I'm laying in bed wondering how I'm going to get us out the door in the morning, take the garbage can out to the street, go grocery shopping, fix the dryer vent, arrange babysitting, have a pink-eye Hannah in my classroom because I'm out of sick leave, decide what's for dinner, get both girl's homework done, and on and on. How did I forget so quickly? It...

I didn't blog for two months. I didn't want to because frankly, I was enjoying my time with Jacob too much. But I missed sharing a lot of stuff that happened and I'm sorry about that. Christmas was wonderful, so was Hannah's birthday and Valentine's. I'm glad we're past these events and getting ready for spring, though. A really obvious confession: I love song lyrics. Little phrases of songs will run through my head throughout the day and I get disappointed if someone doesn't know what I'm talking about (so I'm always disappointed). Here are some that keep running through my head lately: And soon we'll have this tale to tell; All is well! All is well! And I think to myself, What a wonderful world. I don't find this stuff amusing anymore. "I am leaving, I am leaving," but the fighter still remains. And for some reason, Leah keeps singing these two: It's a quarter after one, I'm a little drunk and I need you ...

If you're on Facebook, you know that Santa doesn't exist in our house anymore. It started with this picture. Hannah realized that the "Santa who sat on Coke" was Grandpa's friend. And if he's Grandpa's friend, then he's not really Santa. And if he's not really Santa, then all these guys dressing up like Santas are just fakes. And if that's the case, then is there an actual Santa?? She pressured me and pressured me until I told her the truth.  Hannah isn't the type of kid where you can write a fluffy letter about how Santa is in everyone's heart and it's good to believe in things you can't see. My kids would never accept such an answer--either he is real and we will believe, or he is not real and we will deal with it.  "Mom. I'm serious. Is he real or is he not real?" Every few hours she asked. I knew it was tricky because her older sister, the most trusting, genuine soul I know, is an avid Santa/Elf on...