Ill-defined.

I like to speak with as few words as possible. I'll usually think about something for days or even months before I decide to say it, and even then, I will only say it if it's concise, true and efficient. I don't have patience with wordy books, friends, or students. Don't worry--none of you fall into this category. I could only make it through Lord of the Rings by flipping past all those pages of elven songs. Sheesh.

If something can't be defined in an exact way I get very frustrated. I spend a long time silently figuring it out. At the same time, I don't like rigid boundaries and don't want people to shove me into a category if I don't meet every single criteria.

I feel like there are many things in my life that are difficult to define or classify. My relationship with my kids, for example. They are complex, fascinating little creatures that wear me out within 15 minutes of getting out of bed. Our relationship can't be summed up in a few words--it's too deep and varied for that. I know there's something wrong with Leah's mood cycles but I don't know what to call it....and I REALLY don't know what to do about it. I know Hannah really feels deeply emotionally about everything, but neither of us knows what she's crying about all the time. And I REALLY wish she'd stop sometimes.

My career is hard to define. I'm licensed to work with 5-18 year olds. That's a big developmental age range, people. I'm licensed to teach any subject that needs remedial teaching. That's a lotta subjects I don't know much about. I'm licensed to teach anyone with a disability that can function in a regular classroom. Most of these kids are also extremely complex and come from stressful homes. I chose this line of teaching because of the variance--I love change and needed constant mental stimulation at work, lest I shrivel of boredom. I love my job, really really love it. But it's hard to define.

Some things are easy to define: My marriage and relationship with my husband, my religious views, and my willingness to spend a lot of money for some good shoes. How I feel about bad politicians. Puppies and chickens!

Sometimes, though, I wish I had a word for some of the experiences and actions that we all go through. So I wouldn't have to use so many words, so I could say one small thing and EVERYONE would know exactly what I'm talking about. Like getting rid of your kids' stuff and hoping they won't notice it's missing. Shouldn't there be a single word for that?

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Jennifer Walker said…
And I could say Oo oo oo
As if everybody knows
What I'm talking about
As if everybody would know
Exactly what I was talking about
March 5, 2014 at 8:45 AM
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