Some Thoughts During Work

There are 23 days of school left, which means we have about 5 days of effective teaching and 18 days of assemblies, games, parties, field trips, and state testing. None of those things counts as effective teaching.

And that will be the end of my rant on public education.

Because of state testing requirements, I've found myself in a room with a few kids sitting at a computer trying to take the #$%@ state tests. I'm not allowed to help or intervene, so I've got quite a bit of free time on my hands. Hence the blogging.

Rather than trying to catch up on a whirlwind year, I'm just going to share a few pics. Because pictures make everyone happy.



Jacob and Hannah tackle a few stray eyebrow hairs. It's like surgery. On brows.



On our way to school one day. I hate the house we live in--it's really old and THERE'S NO DISHWASHER, but the neighborhood and yard are great. 


We took a Spring Break jaunt to Capitol Reef. I LOVE the national parks here so much--I'm surprised every time I go at how fascinating and beautiful the landscapes are. Jacob loved them, too:


We hiked to this natural bridge. Tough hike, but worth it for this result. Capitol Reef isn't a family friendly place. There are a few hikes for kids but it's mostly really rough terrain, steep slopes, slick rock, and barely noticeable trails. I actually got lost at one point while I was hiking alone (stupid).


My favorite of all Utah landscape--slot canyons!!! I couldn't get enough of them. We went out hiking at dusk and I got so into one of the canyon trails that we got stuck in there past dark. And then my phone died. Another stupid move. I ended up hiking 13 miles one day, just out of sheer excitement for the park. Seriously, these places are STUNNING.


Easter ended up being held on a Wednesday night. The girls went to their dad's for the weekend, so we did an egg hunt and baskets after school. I hate sharing holidays. HATE. I'm not super good at organizing holidays, either, so thankfully I married someone who is quite adept at these things. 


He hid an avocado as a prize egg and watched them look forever for it. 


It's hard to tell what's here, but we live by a mini goat that thinks it's a dog. Its bleating sounds like a cat and it's really fat. I love it!


We all spoke in church on Sunday, even the two girls. I haven't seen young kids give talks before and thought it was a little out of the ordinary, but we pulled it off without too many freak-outs. Jacob left a few days before the talk and gave me a written talk to read in his place. I haven't yet forgiven him for this. It turned out to be a wonderful experience, though. Here they are after church--so glad it's over! 


Hannah wanted to write her own talk (of course) and spent quite a bit of time talking about how step families are hard and she feels left out at her dad's house. I explained to her that at our house, she's the youngest and at dad's, she's in the middle. It's hard to move positions in the family. She brought home this picture from school one day:

(it says, "I don't like my father!")

I was a wee bit horrified, not just that she wrote it, but that she did it at school and that the teacher put a star on it. I'm still not sure how to handle this one. Yikes!



Anyway, we are surviving here. I still love my job and feel very peaceful most of the time. Med school will be the death of me. My support and patience varies depending on the hour. It's still a long road ahead, and I wonder if I'm up to the task.

Comments

Mari said…
You can do it! Just keep giving yourself pep talks. This is coming from someone who survived a husband doing a phd. You are far more super then me. As for the paper Hannah wrote don't stress too much. Just be supportive and help her point out positive things about her dad. My son (Hannah's age) tells people his dad is mean. Granted it's not on paper and for a teacher to see but it's still embarrassing. I've just had to help point out all the nice stuff he does. Also coming from divorced parents I know it's tough for Hannah. Kids can sense our frustrations about anything.
April 29, 2014 at 3:38 PM
Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

NYE

New Year’s Eve 2009: Mapleton, UT I left Brian  in Logan and took the girls down to visit my parents for the new year. I felt bad and I felt relieved. I needed a break from him. We didn’t have money for food. He spiraled and never climbed out.  New Years Eve 2014: Mapleton, UT I went to Utah with my girls and left Jacob in Miami. He could have come but made up an excuse about studying and visiting his dad instead. Always talked about visiting his dad—alone— when I talked about a family visit. New Year’s Eve consisted of me, my parents and Stephen and laurel. There might have been some others that left earlier. I took no pictures. The new year rang in and felt so alone and empty. Did Jacob even care?  New Years Eve 2015: Vancouver, WA Pregnant with Lucy, unable to work, Jacob had just failed the most important test that would allow him into residency, I decided to wait out the remainder of the pregnancy at my parent’s new house. This move was one of the most humiliating ex...
Read more

Parent Teacher Conference

Dear Mom, You left 4 months ago. You clearly didn't mean to leave when you did, with your shoes sitting by the door and your unfinished paper boxes of chocolates for Relief Society. No one else wants to hear how the girls are doing. No one else has lived with us for so long and understands them and the dynamics of my family like you do. I've retreated into my own silence and my own world, desperately trying to survive each day--sometimes each hour--knowing that although so many friends and family care (and I couldn't survive without their support), there is really no one left that has experienced firsthand the horror story I'm starring in. We had parent teacher conferences last night at Leah and Hannah's school. We had to bring Lucy, who wet her pants twice and cried to go home. Here's a summary of teacher comments: HANNAH: *a natural leader *most well-liked student *grades range from 85 (one class) to 93-99 (every other class) *no missing assignment...
Read more

3 Years

Image
The social media version: “A new burger place in Park Slope— pretty good but girls still love Black Tap better. I love the exposed brick and VW van counter.” The reality: We were supposed to go to burgers last night to remember Dad on the 3rd anniversary of his death. I was very sick this weekend. Leah had a fever of 105— I’m gonna day that again— 105 and Lucy was being picked up by her clown father. No one was ok. We somehow made it out of the house today but we could hardly talk about Dad/Grandpa. Hannah regrets that she doesn’t remember much. Leah is deeply grieving a very special connection they had. She cries silently. I am physically wasted with a chest cold, anxious about how Lucy is doing at her dad’s house and too broken to help anyone. Our world went dark three years ago and the light hasn’t come back on.  The social media version: I can’t even write it because it’s not in my nature to sound so fake.  The reality:  Her clown father took her to a party for the g...
Read more