Ready, Set, Open a Can of Worms



A random, unflattering picture unrelated to the post content:







This is a brief post to answer a question that nearly all of you are absolutely dying to ask but don't have the nerve.

I didn't know everyone cared so much until I was talking with a certain friend on Tuesday night. She is possibly more blunt and forward than I am (I won't mention any names, but if you see Lynette, tell her hi for me).
She asked the same question that everyone asks me, "So, how ARE you?" And I thought that meant, "Now that you're divorced, are you able to sleep through the night and shower regularly?" So I answered with my usual, "Great! And by the way, I hate Statistics." This conservation has been happening consistently with many different people over the past year.

When I had this habitual conversation with said friend, she stopped the routine and said bluntly, "What I'm really asking is, Are you dating anyone?" OH. Why didn't someone say something? I realized in the few stunned seconds following that question that when people are asking how I'm doing, they are really asking how my prospects are coming along.

Why didn't someone just say so? Do you really feel like you can't ask me if I'm dating someone?

So I'm answering the question in a universal format to save my darling readers from the burning, itching desire to know.

No. I have not dated a single person yet. I haven't been on one single, bingle date. I am not completely opposed, I mostly have not made myself available. I don't even have time to watch the news anymore and frankly, I'm extremely picky.

The next time someone asks, "How ARE you?", I will now be able to answer the question they meant to ask with, "Great! And by the way, I haven't been on a date in over a decade." Then a look of sweet relief will come over her face and we will nod our heads knowingly, in only a way that women can do.

Next time, don't be afraid to ask.

Comments

Julianne Howes said…
Hahaha..... For the record, when I say, "How ARE you?" I mean it. No hidden meaning in my questions. :) love you.
December 14, 2011 at 7:33 PM
Unknown said…
You're sweet! And you're the only one :)
December 16, 2011 at 4:01 PM
Andrew Walker said…
For the record, I mean how far along Lego Harry Potter 5-7 are you.
December 19, 2011 at 12:49 PM
Unknown said…
ANDY! I haven't even purchased it yet. It's taken great restraint.
December 19, 2011 at 6:54 PM
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