I love my life. Really I do.

Fact: This has been a horrible week. I'm in no mood to sugar coat the truth (am I ever in that kind of mood?) so here it is. I'm going to skip over the first five days because it involves vomit and lack of sleep, two of my least favorite topics. Here's how today went:

*Up at 5:45 am so we could get ready for the day. I had to be to work at 7:30.

*Drop of kids across the street at 7:15 so I could leave for work. Neighbor took kids to school at 9.

*Work involved substituting in a high school resource class in the morning. I was fine, not great but not dreadful either.

*Get home, too tired to get homework done but too stressed to take a nap. I decided I would take advantage of a sale that Snapfish was having--buy one photo book, get two free. I made the first one last night in class when I got bored of the lecture. It was all about the things we've done this summer. I thought it would also be fun to make two baby picture books for each girl. By the way, the sale ends tonight so I was feeling pressure.

*Since I'm making two baby picture books, this means I have to sift through old pictures. I opened a box that I hadn't looked at in a few years. It had pics of everything--a life I no longer live, yet it's still my history and most importantly, it's my girl's history. It needed to be sorted into what to keep, what not to keep, etc.

*I tried to sort. There were too many memories, too many things I'd pushed out of my mind. I developed a huge pit in my stomach, like a big black ache that arrived unannounced and certainly unwelcomed.

*I guess I wasn't ready to open that box.

*I thought I could sort and get it together while the girls bathed. Usually, they last over an hour in the bath. After 5 minutes, Hannah comes into the room (naked and dripping) saying that Leah had pooped in the bath. I run into the bathroom and she's just sitting in it like nothing was wrong. Like she wasn't a seven year old who just pooped in bathwater.

Me:  GET OUT OF THERE!!! NO, PULL THE PLUG AND THEN GET OUT OF THERE!!!

Leah: Why? I can just stay on this side.

Me: %&*$#@ Actually I don't remember what I said at this point, but it wasn't in my most patient voice.

Leah: What are you so mad about?


*After some reluctance, I decided to give up on the Snapfish sale, put the box away and deal with it another time. Today is not that time.

*The pit is still there. I wish it would leave.

*The homework is also still there. I really wish it would leave.

Comments

Jennifer Walker said…
Wow. Someday you'll be ready. Thanks for sharing your bad day. I love you EVERY day!
September 24, 2011 at 11:19 PM
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