This is one of those impossible posts to write, so it'll be short and probably leave everyone in confusion. Brian is leaving for California in the morning to live with his dad. We are not divorced right now (I know that's what you're wondering). He is struggling with a lot of things and could not make it here on his own anymore. He said goodbye to the girls this afternoon. They seemed to take it pretty well--we only told them a few sentences of bare minimum information. Then I took them with me to get my eyebrows waxed. Also, I've been up since 3:30 am with Hannah, who cried for almost 3 hours straight. Little devil. After they went to bed, I helped Brian move a couple things. I'm completely wasted and have a pile of Spanish homework to do for Friday, so goodnight. I've got nothing left in me right now.
NYE
New Year’s Eve 2009: Mapleton, UT I left Brian in Logan and took the girls down to visit my parents for the new year. I felt bad and I felt relieved. I needed a break from him. We didn’t have money for food. He spiraled and never climbed out. New Years Eve 2014: Mapleton, UT I went to Utah with my girls and left Jacob in Miami. He could have come but made up an excuse about studying and visiting his dad instead. Always talked about visiting his dad—alone— when I talked about a family visit. New Year’s Eve consisted of me, my parents and Stephen and laurel. There might have been some others that left earlier. I took no pictures. The new year rang in and felt so alone and empty. Did Jacob even care? New Years Eve 2015: Vancouver, WA Pregnant with Lucy, unable to work, Jacob had just failed the most important test that would allow him into residency, I decided to wait out the remainder of the pregnancy at my parent’s new house. This move was one of the most humiliating ex...
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