An Unceremonious Blogpost

I’ve missed you, Bloggy McBlogpants. 

I realized today that I badly needed to complain about how Toddlerville is kicking my butt— but I had no one to talk to. {insert weepy violin music}

And then I remembered I have been talking to my blog for ten years (WHAT) and its always been my go-to dumping ground for all things I can’t handle anymore. 

But I feel disloyal, Bloggy, because I haven’t written about the sheer legal terror that has unfolded since December. And it feels wrong to just pick up writing without explicitly describing the nightmare we are ungracefully trying to navigate. 

I can’t write about that stuff. I’m not ready, it’s still brewing with no end in sight and even retelling the events of the past month send me into a fit of PTSD. Followed by a depressing round of failure, hopeless ridden thoughts. 

I asked for a break in court appearances. I asked for Lucy to not have to visit visit her dad until we get closer to the end of school. I can’t take days off anymore, and she is constantly sick. And I mean constantly. Today is was coughing, green snot and eye goo. And always a fever. Anyway, I was awarded the break and people, this is a huge relief and mercy. I don’t know when I’ll have to go back but I will relish the next few weeks and hopefully we’ll find some health. 

Here’s a picture of relish. I hate relish. 


I work as a special ed teacher in Murray School District. I inexplicably love my job right now. It’s not a great school, the teachers there detest special ed and the principal is a classic case of female Aspie. But I’m good at what I do and I love to teach phonics. As my girls would say, You’re so cringy, Mom. Plus it’s the easiest 7.5 hours of my day. The rest of the time, including most of the night, is spent with highly demanding individuals. I have to keep in my how much of their short lives I’ve spent fighting to just be able to take care of them so I try to not complain too much. 

Lucy took a while to readjust to normal life after her last visit.  It was excruciating for all of us (the visit and the readjustment.) Besides being sick, she loves her sisters with a fierce loyalty. They were wrestling the other day and Lucybsyatted hollering at Leah to get off Hannah. I thought it was so precious but Leah wasn’t very amused.  





Comments

Jennifer Walker said…
So happy to see you blogging again— I’m overjoyed!
April 22, 2018 at 9:30 AM
Megan said…
Glad you're back!
April 23, 2018 at 9:03 AM
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