Lucy Turns One

It's been a sad month for me. So much loss, disappointment and feeling in limbo. 

Is Lucy a baby or a toddler?
Is jacob a doctor or resident?
Am I a working mom or a stay at home mom?
Is it summer when we still have a month of school?
Is my dad out of my life or is he closer than he ever was?
Am I a mom to three kids or eight?
Will I have more kids or is this it?

First birthdays are always hard for me. It felt like we were burying her first year of life instead celebrating what is to come. By this time I was one week post-miscarriage and just not feeling it. 

Luckily, she loved all of it. I don't recall seeing a one year old get excited about presents, but nothing about this kid has been very typical or predictable. She lights up my soul every day and I know she was sent here to fill up an otherwise black, confusing existence. 
 
   

Jacob got her a batman figurine. No comment.

Happy first year of life, darling baby. It's been a doozy.  

*****************************************

Comments

Jennifer Walker said…
Happy Birthday, sweet girl!
June 4, 2017 at 7:08 PM
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