Phases. Not Stages.

Mom--my ability to respond to comments is broken. I think you're right. Dad did believe and felt grief very deeply, but I think he didn't buy into the stages aspect. 

Which I understand. 'Stages' implies growth or a development, the kind where you build on a foundation of previously learned skills or behaviors. So in the case of grief, stages is the completely wrong word. Phases is more accurate. And I don't think it should be limited to the five or so that were originally laid out. That makes people feel like if they stray from those feeling or phases, they're doing grief wrong. 

Phases of Grief (that are currently happening at our house):

*Anger

*Anxiety

*Afraid of the dark (Leah. And as a side note, I remember going through this when my grandma died, and Jacob also said he felt this when his grandparents died several years back). 

*Bottling--as in, never talk about it until someone comes over and when you tell them your best Gramps died and it's the saddest thing you've ever felt and then the whole room is crying and you don't know how to handle it so you hide in your room. Hannah.

*Forgetfulness, spaciness, losing track of time

*Shift in friendships. Why is this, anyway? I've noticed it with me, Leah and Hannah. Some superficial friends have slipped away, while others who were acquaintenances have stepped forward. I remember this happening at other major life events, like marriage, babies, divorce, etc. I just wasn't expecting it this time. 

*Eggshells--this one is for Jacob, who is constantly wondering if something he says or does will cause one of us to explode or shut down. Or both. 

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