New Relationship With New York

Visiting the Big Apple is an experience most people really enjoy.

Living here is an entirely different bag. I read an article recently that my sister sent me about families that live here and the best way to describe it is HARD WORK. Everything requires a LOT of effort.

I don't want to detail everything about our move here and personally don't want to relive some of the disasters and horrifically lost-in-the-hood moments we've had. I definitely don't want to talk about the time I showed up on my one-way ticket, finding out that my sublet reservation and canceled and the car rental place wouldn't rent to me (credit card expired...oops) and pretty soon I'm on a street corner in Queens with nowhere to go and no way to get there. Not my favorite moment.

So here's what I'm going to do. I will start listing, in listy form, some of the exciting and not-so exciting events of the past two and a half weeks. I will also stop when I get tired and probably not finish the job. Because I'm realistic.


  • My girls are visiting Utah until August. We've talked about this. It's still not a good subject. They call me in tears because they are hungry, sick, or confused about the many dysfunctional ways of the stepfamily and it takes tremendous self-control for me to not fly there and snatch them up.


  • I've visited roughly 20 apartments and met with half as many realtors. I can't wrap my head around a 750 square foot shoebox for $2500 a month, plus an $8,000 deposit. These are not exaggerated numbers. I finally met a realtor, Temur Dovlatov from Uzbekistan, who pulled me aside and said, "Look, babe. Ya gotta lower your expectations." We put a deposit on a place and still haven't heard back. Maybe tomorrow. Maybe not.


  • I found a job after 3 days of resume tweaking and Craigslist hunting. I teach reading comprehension in a private summer school program in Queens that caters to Korean families. They think it's cute that I speak Spanish but it has no value there. It has many challenges, mostly with space and temperature (a common theme everywhere), but I really love it. I finally realized tonight that I enjoy teaching without the constraints of public school systems so much that I don't know if I can ever go back. Next up: finding a job--or some kind of income--for fall. 
  •  Jacob finished a two week rotation at Metropolitan Hospital on the Upper East Side. Surprisingly, he loved it, though not quite sure he wants to work in the detox section of psychiatry. 


  • I hate Queens.

  • I have never eaten so many bagels, pizza slices and street vendor kebobs and gyros in my life. It's not cliche. It's just everywhere.  


  • I thought that Miami was diverse. Actually, it's Cubans, Haitians and a few white folks. NYC is diverse in the best way possible. Different cultures come here and are able to maintain their customs and heritage. And language. Our first sublet was in a neighborhood that was mainly Hassidic Jew and Pakistani. I had interactions with people from Mauritius, Beirut, and Lebanon. Interestingly, with my Mormon shorts and t-shirts, I was the most immodest, underdressed woman on the streets. 


  • Our new sublet is in a black Caribbean neighborhood. The next door neighbors had a really loud party last night until 3 am, DJ and professional speaker included. Outside. 10 feet from our bedroom window. 


  • I'm getting tired. 
  •  I have a real thing for street performers. Most of them are pretty darn good and I don't mind the interruption on the train, though most locals get very annoyed with them. 
  •  Turns out I also have a thing for modern art, which I only discovered after visiting the Metropolitan Museum of Art (hereafter referred to as the Met--trying to be a local, folks) and wandering around ALONE for 5 hours. I gave myself one criteria--find out if the art sparked joy or not. Greek sparks joy. Roman does not. American art does not spark joy, but Byzantine does. The Chinese costume exhibit was particularly exciting as was the weapons and armor section. Who knew? I love Jackson Pollock and could do without Monet.

  •  Going to bed now.






 

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

NYE

New Year’s Eve 2009: Mapleton, UT I left Brian  in Logan and took the girls down to visit my parents for the new year. I felt bad and I felt relieved. I needed a break from him. We didn’t have money for food. He spiraled and never climbed out.  New Years Eve 2014: Mapleton, UT I went to Utah with my girls and left Jacob in Miami. He could have come but made up an excuse about studying and visiting his dad instead. Always talked about visiting his dad—alone— when I talked about a family visit. New Year’s Eve consisted of me, my parents and Stephen and laurel. There might have been some others that left earlier. I took no pictures. The new year rang in and felt so alone and empty. Did Jacob even care?  New Years Eve 2015: Vancouver, WA Pregnant with Lucy, unable to work, Jacob had just failed the most important test that would allow him into residency, I decided to wait out the remainder of the pregnancy at my parent’s new house. This move was one of the most humiliating ex...
Read more

Parent Teacher Conference

Dear Mom, You left 4 months ago. You clearly didn't mean to leave when you did, with your shoes sitting by the door and your unfinished paper boxes of chocolates for Relief Society. No one else wants to hear how the girls are doing. No one else has lived with us for so long and understands them and the dynamics of my family like you do. I've retreated into my own silence and my own world, desperately trying to survive each day--sometimes each hour--knowing that although so many friends and family care (and I couldn't survive without their support), there is really no one left that has experienced firsthand the horror story I'm starring in. We had parent teacher conferences last night at Leah and Hannah's school. We had to bring Lucy, who wet her pants twice and cried to go home. Here's a summary of teacher comments: HANNAH: *a natural leader *most well-liked student *grades range from 85 (one class) to 93-99 (every other class) *no missing assignment...
Read more

3 Years

Image
The social media version: “A new burger place in Park Slope— pretty good but girls still love Black Tap better. I love the exposed brick and VW van counter.” The reality: We were supposed to go to burgers last night to remember Dad on the 3rd anniversary of his death. I was very sick this weekend. Leah had a fever of 105— I’m gonna day that again— 105 and Lucy was being picked up by her clown father. No one was ok. We somehow made it out of the house today but we could hardly talk about Dad/Grandpa. Hannah regrets that she doesn’t remember much. Leah is deeply grieving a very special connection they had. She cries silently. I am physically wasted with a chest cold, anxious about how Lucy is doing at her dad’s house and too broken to help anyone. Our world went dark three years ago and the light hasn’t come back on.  The social media version: I can’t even write it because it’s not in my nature to sound so fake.  The reality:  Her clown father took her to a party for the g...
Read more