Mother's Day and whatnot

Housing update:

We applied for an apartment in Queens and were rejected before they even ran a credit or background check. The landlord had some excuse about number of occupants vs square footage, but the whole thing reeked of discrimination (they don't love kids) and was slightly irritating. So we applied for ANOTHER place that was right next door. It took almost the full week to get the application filled out just right--no black spaces! -- and after many frustrating phone calls and emails, we finally got everything turned in 30 minutes before Shabbat (they are Orthodox Jews and turn off their phones on Friday night). I had a clear thought after I hit send that we wouldn't be living there. Not sure why, either we won't be accepted for that either or we will find something better. Neither Jacob nor I feel terribly worried about any of it. Something will fall into place when it needs to, and frankly, the more we think about it, the more we don't think we can live in a one bedroom place. Cuz we're introverted parents with extroverted kids, which means two of us need a break from all the talking and socializing sometimes. 

Mother's Day update:

I don't love Mother's Day, but I do love my husband and kids and I love that they make feel very loved and special on a regular, consistent basis. I don't feel the need for Mother's Day in my life and I get snarly at the entitlement and expectation surrounding both Mother's and Father's Day. I haven't resolved it in my head, but this year I was particularly rebellious and decided I wanted to be the one making a nice dinner (black bean soup, homemade rolls, bbq chicken salad, and fruit), I was going to pamper the girls and play games with them. Most of that happened, minus the fact that I woke up with raging pink eye and Leah had a nasty cold. Anyway, when I did wake up, I found the three goons at the table, beaming and showing me their presents and cards they made. It was so lovely. Jacob got me two British movies and some peanuts and plain M&M's (because it's so much better to eat them that way than buy peanut M&M's). I was touched by their thoughtfulness and feel incredibly blessed every day to have these three in my life. 

Jacob update:

He came back from a stressful Scout campout, having not slept much and having been rained on, and announced to the family that he was 'offline' for the day. So we did what was most appropriate for the situation--we laughed at him and went about the day as usual. 

Jacob's stress level with school is climbing and reaching boiling point. There are so many tests and changes coming up. I admire how well he's dealing with it and still taking the kids to school, helping with dinner/dishes/homework/laundry, doing Scouts, etc. He also started his last rotation of his 3rd year in Pediatrics. The consensus is that he loves kids but would probably be bored with meds on a day to day basis. At the end of the day, he always returns to his love for psychiatry. 

Me update:

Admittedly, my health isn't very good. It's hit and miss. I have some really awesome weeks and some really forgettable weeks (like this one). I was at my primary care doctor this week begging for an endocrinologist. She wanted to put me on a birth control pill and was convinced that would solve all my problems. I pushed for the endocrine and the referral is pending approval. The health care here in Miami has been very hard to figure out and I am learning more and more about what it's like to be a minority (we are usually the only white folks in the clinic--in any clinic) and what it's like to feel some kind of discrimination--because we are poor, because the girls don't know Spanish, etc. People naturally assume that I have Latin heritage and that I haven't passed the language on to my kids. I would have never, ever guessed that this is something I would have to defend and sort out with anyone. Alas. 

And speaking of skin color:

Can we all agree that pasty white is the new tan? I don't want melanoma. I don't want spray tan chemicals. I just want it to be okay that I look like this all the time, no matter how much I hang out in the sun. I have cottage cheese thighs and I always will. I think my body is beautiful and I love what I have. I don't know why I'm talking about this. Probably because it comes up a lot with the girls--finding that balance of taking care of your body, keeping yourself clean and showing the world that you care about yourself, but not making clothes and hair your entire identity. It's tricky. We're all figuring it out together.