Doing much better, thanks

The few bad weeks we had are a distant memory now. I went to bed Sunday night and felt the world fall into place. This whole week has been kind of surreal and floaty--I've had the oddest feeling of calm and peace about everything. There are a lot of changes ahead, but isn't that true for everyone?

On Monday, the director of Special Ed for the whole district paid me a surprise visit. I was teaching a 1st grade math group--three extremely strong willed kids that I think are hilarious--and he came to check to see that I had been keeping data on reading progress. I had, luckily (insert HUGE sigh of relief here). We chatted for a few minutes about social motivation, he gave me a pack of M&Ms with a "Good Job!" sticker on them (I guess we're never too old for candy and stickers) and left. After his visit, he sent me this email:

Carrie,

I enjoyed visiting with you today. Thanks for your positive and upbeat approach to a challenging and important job. I know that it can be overwhelming, but I also feel strongly that you are exactly the right person.
Right person for WHAT?!?! It's no secret I'm not great with small kids. They smell weird and it's like herding kittens. And if I'm the 'right person', how come I never felt that confirmation? I took this job not because it felt right, but because everything else felt wrong. I've been doing this job and desperately trying to figure out what I'm supposed to be doing and WHY people even like elementary school teaching. I'm glad I'm there and enjoy my work, but give me high school kids any day!!!

Then on Thursday, something happened. I've been working with a group of 1st grade students. One of them is a boy who was sexually abused at home. I go into his class and help with assignments, cleaning out desk, kitten herding. He sits by a little girl who is missing her front teeth. On this day, I had been sitting on the floor (no short skirts for my job--you wear really comfy pants or long skirts) and she came up and gave me a HUGE bear hug. Out of the blue. It was so tender and genuine and I understand now why people love elementary school. Because small kids freely fling their love and friendship and assume that you feel the same in return. You can't have a bad day after that. It's contagious and slightly addicting to be around. Me and my new little friend chatted and found out we share the same birthday. Thank you, McKell. I get it now.

And I just got called to do nursery in church. REALLY not excited. They smell weird and it's like herding kittens.

Comments

Julianne Howes said…
That's what my calling is too. I never knew how creative I was before this calling. I'm pulling ideas out of my........ Back area..... Ps I lost my contacts. You need to call me!
November 24, 2013 at 1:38 PM
Larri-Lea said…
Your new contentment shows in your countenance. I know you didn't want to be in elementary school, but if anyone could be calm and carry on (get it?), it's you. So glad you are having great experiences. Remember them...you will need those memories and confirmations to get you through the rest of the school year!
November 24, 2013 at 5:40 PM
Jennifer Walker said…
God is always in the details of our lives. Sometimes it's a simple hug from a child. It's a like a hug from God. He's telling you that you're in the right place doing the right thing. It's all right.
December 1, 2013 at 12:10 PM
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